compromise.

the view around these parts, lately.

compromise. such a great concept in theory, something altogether different in practice. living in nyc is a never ending exercise in compromise. the apartment's great? well, the neighborhood's probably not so great. what's that, the rent's reasonable, borderline too good to be true? ding ding, it probably is! this dining table that you'll probably never find again that's yours for a song and dance? well, you'll have to pass on that too because having any amount of space in this city to put a dining table in is like finding diamonds in a coal mine; probably not altogether impossible, but highly, highly improbable. 

(disclaimer: that dining table example? totally did not happen to me a few weeks ago...nope, not at all ;).

i'm immensely thankful to live in an age where we have access to so many great resources handed to us on a silver platter and where it's incredibly easy to connect with amazingly inspiring people that i otherwise would never have had the pleasure of meeting, but i often think about the effect that it's had on expectations...namely, inflating them to sometimes unrealistic levels. levels which then lead to unrealistic consequences, when those expectations aren't met. a few examples - we dive headfirst into a spiral of despair, of heartbreak, of thinking something must be wrong with us, that we're the ones who must not be good enough yet everyone else is super duper great (ok, dramatic examples yes, but i hope it's obvious i'm not speaking from personal experience here, right? ;) . 

i realize i'm probably playing the world's tiniest fiddle here, to some degree. i've been one of the lucky ones - i've made some amazing connections over instagram and twitter who have moved on to become real life friends, but such double edged swords are these tricky little guys. instagram has grown to be an amazing community of such kind, generous and amazing people, but right around the corner from all that good lurks the bad, too.  it's much too easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and what you're not, everyone else's success and your seemingly lack thereof, everyone's great travel adventures and your involuntary house arrest, the list goes on and on...and it's this, these thoughts here, that spiral we were talking about earlier? yeah, you can see where i'm headed. i realize it's wrong. i realize it's totally unhealthy. and absurd. and unfortunately too easy a path to choose. we are our own worst critic goes the saying, but the adage is exponentially worse this day in age when all you're surrounded with are reasons to judge yourself harshly (and unjustly so), and a million points of comparisons against others that's probably best likened to comparing apples to oranges; yeah sure, we might be all fruit at the end of the day, but everyone's situation is different. well, it's exhausting. and i'm done. yes, it's slow going, learning to manage my expectations one day at a time, but just like compromise, realizing it's a great concept in theory but an even harder thing to achieve in practice makes the practice all the more worth it.

lately.

+ a trip to iceland

+ lots of new ceramic works

+ plant hoarding

+ tea drinking
+ webshop opening soon!

my return from iceland was just this past monday, but already it feels like decades ago. i picked up and left amongst a massive to-do list, and am just surfacing (a little bit) from another snowballing list of things to do that seemingly never end. well, upwards and onwards they say! even if that upwards and onwards is me attempting to summit mountains of crumpled up paper to-do lists. i kid, i kid.

some very exciting news to share - the jewelry webshop is almost ready! i was fortunate enough to enlist the help of two very special ladies to squeeze in a lookbook shoot a couple weeks before my trip, and it's only a matter of sorting through a few site kinks until everything is live. stay tuned, more webshop news to come both on the blog and on instagram.

in the meantime, drinking lots of tea while being super antsy for spring to come, and spending way too much time in the ceramics studio lately. a few new pieces are shown above, with lots more to come! it might be time to start planning for some studio space, i'm being run out by ceramics and plants. not altogether a terrible problem to have. :)

i do love my hair, i do, i do.

life as of late, from my instagram feed

whew. i'll say it, i'll come right out and admit it - this is an insane time of year. everyone has so much to do themselves, let alone for everyone else important in their lives - friends, family, etc - it's enough to turn a sane person who loves their hair into a crazy person who wants to tear out their hair (see title). or at least eat a gallon of ice cream. or a whole pizza pie. or something equally as delicious.

while i'm not immune to the massive pressure looming overhead of getting everything done that i need to in time, it's also been a top priority to me lately to reserve a few minutes for myself every day where i can sit, unwind, and reflect on everything as objectively as possible - and then i remembered the blog! ah, the blog (and a new year's resolution writing itself :). things do pile up and stuff can get crazy, but somehow putting it in writing that many others are in the same boat and it's not just myself brings me back a little bit. and frankly, that's all i need sometimes.

a few top things i'd still love to get done should time allow:
- these apple cider caramels from smitten kitchen
- this sea salt & honey custard pie from four + twenty blackbirds
- go on a hunt for indonesian palm sugar/gula jawa/jaggery for palm sugar ice cream

and indeed, it's no coincidence that they're all food related. what are your top priorities/things that still need to get done?

on attitudes.

casually browsing the sartorialist just now, i came across a quote from scott schuman in speaking about anna dello russo i couldn't help but share:

"Anna lacks the blasé gene, which is refreshing for a fashion icon."

simple words (that easily extend beyond the world of fashion), but words to live by.

LA.

i'd originally meant to post about my trip to la before i left (thus the giant lack of posts - sorry!), but the days leading up to the trip were filled with lots of running around making sure i had everything and i ran out of time before i knew what had happened.  i got back last friday, but the ten days previous to that were spent in the city i called home for three and a half years - los angeles.

there was a wedding, there was some crying, pre-empted and followed by lots of eating, some shopping, and lots of meetings of new friends.  oh, and a trip to the desert!  and another engagement!  whew, a lot can happen in ten days, it seems.  it felt nice being back, despite the 105+ degree heat wave that hit la the same time i did - but no humidity!  score.  while there are definitely parts of the city i miss, more than that i miss the people and friends i had while in la.  but good friends and friendships are good like that though - it spans distances, across states, across boundaries.  and on that note - please come visit, west coast friends!

gifts for friends.

a few weekends ago i had the distinct pleasure of staying with a couple of friends for a weekend while in town for a bridal shower; i mailed off some tokens last week of my appreciation for their generosity and a thanks for being such gracious hosts.  

it's a small gesture, but i like to think that handmade gifts carry with them that much more heft.  indeed the thought does count, even with a ready made gift, but it's different with handmade.  to receive is to receive both thought and labor.  gifts made for friends are just that - labors of love, of friendship.

little (sparkly) treasures.

i've been on a big crystal/quartz kick lately, and the top three are just the most recent acquisitions.  i love the intrinsic quality of these (essentially) glorified pieces of rock that make each chunk entirely unique - no two shapes are the same, no two markings are the same, no two pieces reflect light in exactly the same way - it makes each one so uniquely beautiful, in its own right.  

i'm not a huge believer in the whole power of 'healing crystals' thing, but i do like to think that if looking at these little treasures each time brings even the slightest moments of happiness, of peace and of joy, that's healing power enough for me.

a quilt and life lessons.

this thing.  i finally finished this thing.  nearly two months and three iterations later, it's finally, finally finished.  

finished size measures approximately 24.5" square, and uses a combination of cotton, linen/cotton and silk, dyed using a combination of synthetic and natural dyes (indigo, cutch, madder, sandalwood and alkanet).  this piece incorporated some of the fabric i dyed during shabd's class at TAC i took during the holidays; the fabric had been sitting around patiently since then, waiting for the perfect opportunity to be used.  the natural dyed stuff was done during my huge wave of natural dyeing about a month ago.  

this piece, in all its unfinished glory, had been sitting around gathering dust waiting for me to finish when i finally decided this weekend was going to be the weekend.  little by little and stitch by stitch, it started to come together under the sewing machine, becoming tangible proof that sometimes, all it takes is a decision and the tenacity to stick to it, to get things done.  lessons in life, i guess.  

on procrastination, part two.

i'm god awful with ideas.  i have them, tons of them, but i get so overly excited about them that i start them and rarely ever finish them.  which is why, now that i'm unemployed, it feels like a better time than ever to finally put my foot down and finish projects i started ages and ages ago that i never really thought i'd finish.

i first started making these necklaces back in january (you might remember this post, what started it all) with the intent to make more and start selling them, but for multiple reasons got sidetracked and had only a necklace here and a necklace there - not wise if i'm trying to make enough to gain any sort of critical mass.  it's been this way up until recently, when i finally buckled down and busted through a couple afternoons making these, alongside the other wax work i'm also doing.  i'm very proud of myself for finally finishing these (and hopefully on my way to making more) and i've finally listed them on etsy.  so please, visit!  and take a look!  and buy one!  encourage me to stop being a slacker so that i can get up off my rear and make enough supply to meet demand!  yeah!  did that encouragement (hopefully) work?  ok, great.

weekend snaps, extended edition.

a perfect summer

memorial day weekend 2008 was when i adopted corn dog, memorial day weekend 2010 was also when i first met chris - there's a pattern emerging here.  despite a few hurdles in planning (or lack thereof) this last memorial day weekend, chris and i made the best of it and celebrated our two year anniversary by heading down to chincoteague island in virginia.  it's a sleepy little town with not much actually in town itself, but where chincoteague island shines is their wildlife refuge and the legendary 'chincoteague island wild ponies'.  

we spent about a day and a half crab watching, strolling the virginia coastline, stuffing ourselves with ice cream and other beach town fare.  on our last day out in our rented kayak, we saw what everyone who goes to the island hopes to see - wild ponies!  we got pretty close to a group of grazing ponies, even coming within five or so yards to a few.  amongst the group was a baby pony who was super curious about us - he kept looking our way, though he ultimately stuck by his mother.  

the rest of the time away was spent hanging out with chris' family/friends (who own a vineyard!), a stop at federal donuts in philly (where all the fancy donuts, fried chicken and iced coffee had sold out by 1pm, crazy!), a huge lot of dogs and stuffing ourselves with turkey burgers and potato salad.  it was a good weekend.  what about you? what did you guys do this weekend?

food & heritage.

we don't mess around with soy sauce.

i'm first generation chinese.  that statement in and of itself doesn't necessarily mean anything, but there are certain differences between cultures that aren't as obvious; for instance, the use of recipes.  i may be totally presumptuous here, but i feel like recipes are distinctly european - many of the old school chinese folks you might talk to could never accurately tell you the exact ingredients in exact quantities that make up a dish, it's just something that they innately know and is passed on from generation to generation through repetition and practice.  i specify i'm first generation because my mom, for instance, doesn't understand the concept of recipes nor could she write one to save her life, even if it's for a dish she's been making since she was a kid.  i've been on a chinese food kick lately ever since finally making a day out my trip to flushing (i'll bring my camera next time), so i was thrilled, over the moon elated when i was able to find a few recipes online (!) for dishes i distinctly remember having had as a kid that i couldn't even begin to describe to you in english.

thus far this week i've already made winter melon soup, rice cake with pickled cabbage and pork and last night's dinner consisted of tilapia with scallion ginger sauce and crispy tofu with snow pea and mushroom stir fry.  if it sounds like i've gone a little nuts, let me assure you: i have.

trimmed snow pea ends.

crispy tofu.

the rice cake with pickled cabbage and pork was probably my favorite dish that i've had so far, but also because that dish holds very fond memories for me.  i didn't think to document that recipe as i was making it, but i'll likely be making it again soon enough with some adaptations to the original recipe, so i'll post that when the time comes around again.  in the meantime, the below recipes for crispy tofu with mushroom and snow pea stir fry and tilapia with scallion ginger sauce makes one heck of a solid chinese dinner any night of the week (don't forget the rice!).  the tilapia recipe is one of my favorite recipes for fish (any white fish will do) and one of the quickest to boot.  total win-win situation.  

baked white fish with scallion and ginger sauce

serves 2-4

1/3 cup dry white wine

dash of sugar

1/2 tsp lemon juice

2 tb soy sauce

2 tsp sesame oil

2 large (or 3 small) scallions, sliced thinly

1 tsp finely minced fresh ginger

1 tsp finely minced garlic

1 pound your white fish of choice (*see note)

thinly sliced scallions for serving

- heat oven to 400, and place your fish in walled baking dish.

- mix all other ingredients together in a separate bowl, and pour all over fish.  wiggle the fish a bit so the sauce can get underneath the fish in the baking dish.

- bake fish for 10-15 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork.  test fish first at 10 minutes, bake in increments of two minutes at a time until done.

- sprinkle sliced scallions on top right before serving.
- *note: you can use any cut of fish you'd like here, but if you're going for an authentic chinese interpretation, try baking a whole fish (cleaned and de-scaled).

crispy tofu with mushroom and snow pea stir fry

serves 4 (adapted from the kitchn)

for the sauce:
1 cup chicken or vegetable broth
3 tb low sodium soy sauce
1 tb rice vinegar
1 tsp sugar
2 tb corn starch

for stir fry:
3 tb vegetable oil, divided
4 tb corn starch
14 oz firm or extra firm tofu, cut into 1" cubes
8 oz package mushrooms (white or baby bella), roughly sliced
1/2 pound snow peas, ends trimmed
2 tsp minced garlic
1 tb minced ginger
2 scallions, cut into 1" pieces

- mix all sauce ingredients and set aside.
- in a separate bowl, toss tofu with corn starch to evenly coat all sides.
- heat 2 tb oil in a large skillet or wok over high heat, and crisp tofu by letting it "set" in the oil on each side until evenly golden brown.  remove from pan and keep warm.
- heat 1 tb oil in pan and stir fry the mushrooms until soft, then add snow peas and cook until slightly underdone, only about a minute.
- add in garlic and ginger, and stir fry about 30 seconds.
- stir the sauce from the first step just to re-incorporate ingredients, and pour into mushroom/snow pea mixture.  bring to a boil, and cook until sauce is almost at desired thickness (sauce will thicken additionally as it cools).
- toss scallions with mixture right before serving.

a reductive process.

a few of you might remember this ring i made back when i took a jewelry/metalsmithing course while still in la; i had such a good time and learned so much in that class that i've been hooked on making jewelry ever since. i signed up for a wax carving class recently, and even though it's only been a couple weeks in i've already got two* pieces to show for it! the ring above is the second piece i made during class, the cuff (below) was something i made on my own time while at home.

(*note: my very first piece made in class was another ring, but for some reason it didn't come back from the caster last week, so hopefully i'll have it finished and ready to show by next week!)

i find the entire process to be so relaxing, but so fun. i've kept a little notebook of sketches and ideas i've had along the way, but this is easily something i could see myself doing more of, on a consistent basis. i've also toyed with the idea of selling these, though i guess it makes more sense to gauge interest in these pieces first before i start building an entire collection.

so i guess the question to anyone reading out there is: feedback, thoughts, general opinions? would you personally buy or have any interest in buying these?

happy friday & textile museum/baltimore.

clockwise: farmer's coat, japan, meiji period, late 19th century / huipil, guatemala, 20th century / asmalyk, yomut tribe, central asia, turkmenistan, 19th century / robe, central asia, uzbekistan, bukhara, or fergana valley, mid-19th century / tunic, peru, 750-950 / all from textile museum

this week has been the week of change.  a huge life event happened for me that i'm still in the process of digesting (don't worry, nothing too major, but i'll talk about it when the time is right), but all i've thought about this week is how much i'm looking forward to this weekend's visit with sara and for jenny's visit next week.  i'm headed off tonight to spend the weekend in baltimore and dc to hang out with the lovely sara, and we're both going to completely forget our crummy weeks and dive headfirst into hunting for driftwood, visiting the smithsonian and the textile museum.  the textile museum!  i'm so excited it hurts.  i really hope they have cool stuff in their gift shop.  yeah, i'm a total geek, i know.  

and next week!  i've been a fan of jenny's for some years now, so i'm super excited to finally be able to meet her in person.  we're going to hang out and (natural) dye stuff, eat crappy food and talk about boys (just kidding) - i can't wait.  i'm going to make doubly sure my camera's fully charged and functional during our dye session, i've been saving up stuff to dye so i'm really anxious to get started/see how they turn out.  

oh, and speaking of life changes, i also started a jewelry class this week at liloveve, thanks to a gift certificate from chris as part of my christmas present (and thanks to erin for the recommendation).  so far, so good - i made this during my first class last night and it's pretty close to being complete, and i'm pretty happy with it.  i'll have to wait and see how the final product looks before i make any lasting judgement calls with it, though.  

happy weekend to all!

the stuff stories are made of.

hello, from turkey!  we're back in our hotel room after day number five of activities, and i just had to share the story of stories that i need to take this minute to unload.  

we've been here for five days.  that's five days worth of photos, five days worth of memories, five days worth of stories or 1.96 gigs of photos, to be exact.  as we walked up to the main dome in hagia sophia and after trying to snap a series of shots to later pin together for a panorama, my camera proceeded to tell me my memory card was full.  no big deal, right?  i sat down, tried to delete what pictures i could, then came up with the grand idea of taking my pictures in a lower res format so as to save disk space.  i went through my settings, found a setting called 'format', then checked the box that said 'lower quality' and hit 'okay'.  with NO warning, a progress bar started to fill and it was at that point that i realized what might be happening; i hit cancel mid-bar, but by then it was already too late.  that's right folks, FIVE DAYS worth of photos, 1.96 GIGS of photos, completely GONE.  ALL GONE.  i looked up from my camera at chris and very nearly started to cry, right there in hagia sophia.  what pains me the most is not the tourist shots that i can probably find a million of from a quick search on flickr, but i had some really great candid portraits of locals, the street "pets" and food snapshots - most of which i can't ever replicate since they were all of-the-moment shots.  my favorites were one of a kid playing with a street cat, two guys standing beside a street cat, one on each side, appearing as though they were all waiting for their lady companions, and a great portrait i snuck today just hours earlier of a local senior sitting across from us when we were on the ferry - all those photos, gone...in a poof.  with no 'are you sure?' warning from my camera, no 'this will delete all photos' - five days worth of memories, five days worth of moments caught and digitized, five days worth of a trip i'll never duplicate in my life...completely gone in that instant.  

it's time to get a new camera.